I fly back to the blizzarding town I call home this coming saturday. It has been a little under 2 weeks and am I ever homesick! Initially, I decided to leave for so long so Kyle could have a break. We haven't been living with each other too long and things were getting a little overwhelming. I could tell he needed some space and a little freedom. He was enjoying it at first but, now the poor guy wants his family to come back. I admit, im missing him like crazy aswell.
It has been a nice break though. I flew down to Vancouver Island to stay with my dad for 2 weeks. It has been a blast and I was able to see brothers and sisters I haven't seen for years. So much has changed and everyone is all grown up with little families of their own. This has really been an eye opener. I never realized how much I have been missing - family is so important and I really need to make more time for all of them. Korbin needs to know these amazing people as well. I forgot just how awsome this part of my family is!
It really has been beautiful down here. It is so refreshing to come back to where I grew up. The trees...everything here is like a huge breath of fresh air. Sooo revitalizing. I was turning into a person I didn't like being away for so long. Stuck at home all day while it is freezing and gloomy outside can really take its toll on you. This trip has made me remember where my roots are and what is really important. I can not wait until kyle and I have the opportunity to make a trip down together. I really want to share this with him. Possibly convincing him into moving down here. I miss it.
My dads house is beautiful. Right on the river with huge, old rustic trees everywhere. Right now, the sun is shining off the water straight into this huge log home. So peaceful and relaxing. It may be cold out but, there are beautiful blue skies with little fluffy clouds floating by. There actually is snow on the ground aswell, just a little! It added just that perfect touch of winter here.
I am so homesick but, in all honesty. I really wish I could stay...
Thursday, November 29, 2007
Who You Are
These past couple of days I have realized: you don't know who you really are until you have someone or something bring it out. Until Korbin was born I had no idea who I was or where I belonged. I was never happy with life or where my choices had taken me. I am now thrilled to know that I am where I belong and a mom is what I am meant to be. I have never felt so close to someone else and the joy he has brought is unexplainable.
Korbin is a reflection of myself. When I am happy, he is usually happy. He knows when I am sad because it shows...his personality becomes contained and he somehow gives off an "understanding" feeling. As though he sees and feels exactly what I feel. Call me crazy...
To have someone be a part of you like that is truly a blessing. An unbelievable feeling that only a mom could understand.
Korbin is a reflection of myself. When I am happy, he is usually happy. He knows when I am sad because it shows...his personality becomes contained and he somehow gives off an "understanding" feeling. As though he sees and feels exactly what I feel. Call me crazy...
To have someone be a part of you like that is truly a blessing. An unbelievable feeling that only a mom could understand.
Sunday, November 25, 2007
Accepting Life
My beautiful son Korbin was born premature July 11, 2007 weighing only 3 lbs 15 oz and 17 inches long. Having my child stuck in NICU for weeks was the absolute hardest thing I had to deal with. Now, four and a half months later he is already 15 lbs and perfect. He is quite the boob-a-holic and is definitly a mommy's boy. He is my life <3>
Having a child when my life was just beginning at first was devastating. I couldn't believe this was happening to me. I was taking a year off after high school. Waittressing in a peeler bar...making more money in a week than most do in a month...partying more in a week than most do in a year. Some would call it carelessness...I call it fate. Everything happens for a reason and I am so thankful for my son because the road I was going down would most likely have been a long, bumpy one. The day I accepted this change was the day I alson found myself. I couldn't believe something so amazing and beautiful was happening to me. Korbin truly was a blessing. One year ago if you would have asked me how many kids I wanted I would have laughed and said ZERO. I hated kids! Now, I couldn't imagine life without one. The day Korbin was born was the day I accepted every good and bad thing that has ever happened to me. Without him I wouldn't be half the person I am now...
Having a child when my life was just beginning at first was devastating. I couldn't believe this was happening to me. I was taking a year off after high school. Waittressing in a peeler bar...making more money in a week than most do in a month...partying more in a week than most do in a year. Some would call it carelessness...I call it fate. Everything happens for a reason and I am so thankful for my son because the road I was going down would most likely have been a long, bumpy one. The day I accepted this change was the day I alson found myself. I couldn't believe something so amazing and beautiful was happening to me. Korbin truly was a blessing. One year ago if you would have asked me how many kids I wanted I would have laughed and said ZERO. I hated kids! Now, I couldn't imagine life without one. The day Korbin was born was the day I accepted every good and bad thing that has ever happened to me. Without him I wouldn't be half the person I am now...
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